Over the weekend I went to my monthly writer's critique and since then, I have not been able to stop thinking about the way we let others opinions affect us.
This question goes far into the depths of who we are as a species, because as much as we want to write off what others say, that doesn't mean we always should. If a friend tells me I'm a jerk, what kind of friend would I be to dismiss that?
If, on the other hand, someone makes a comment to me that feels unfair, I probably should dismiss it.
Here are a couple things that I realized pondering all this...
Is what the person said accurate?
Were they making assumptions based on incomplete information?
Was the person speaking from a loving perspective?
Or did the person sharing their opinion literally throw up everything nasty they could think of right on your lap?
The fact is, those around us do often have good and accurate views to share. I know I have grown from things others have told me, even sometimes when they were negative. Afterall, somebody has to teach us how to give the finger... :)
Really though, I think what bothers us the most is when someone has put us down and our fear kicks in. 'Could he/she be right?' That is the hardest of all. But we shouldn't let our fear keep us from facing the truth, whatever that truth is. Without hearing hard things, we never get the chance to grow. Which is something I hope to never stop doing. :)
So for now, I will let my mind rest with the knowledge that for every bad opinion, there is also a good one just waiting to burst forth!
You are so completely right, of course. One important thing to remember is that EVERYONE has an opinion- that doesn't mean it's right. :) The trick is to be self-confident at the same time as you are self-aware. Do not let other people's negativity drag you down. Be open to opinions, of course, but remember that a million different things go into that opinion- their own life lessons, their background and their tastes, etc. I think it's wise to ask yourself... "Could he/she be right?" But ask it from a neutral viewpoint. Try to put yourself outside of the situation to come up with an answer. It's harder than it sounds, but it IS doable. :)
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