Agent Bashing ~ Not OK

For all the agents who get bashed by writers, and all the writers who are guilty of bashing agents, this post is for you... It is truly how I feel.

I tend to surf agent blogs a lot because I get good information from them on what agents are looking for. Most of the agents I follow don't even represent my genre, but that is not the point. They give me insight into the writing world, and ideas on how to reach other audiences. I respect all the information I get, because they 'are' in the know.

This is why I find it so irritating when I hear people bashing agents because they get a rejection letter. Yet some of these same people are sending in queries on genres they should not be. No matter how fabulous the novel is, if an agent only takes romance, and yours is sci fi, most likely you will get a rejection.

In my opinion, it is disrespectful to send a query to an agent that clearly does not have interest in the genre. If I were an agent, that would only show me that you aren't serious about writing, or about me as an agent. It isn't that hard to go to the agent's blog or website and see what they are looking for. Make yourself and your novel fit the agent, not the agent fit your novel. It is hard enough to promote books in this economy, and as writers, we need to be flexible.

Most agents only get paid if they can sell your work. This means that even if an agent reads your manuscript, and absolutely loves it, he or she still has to be able to sell it. If the agent knows there are three other books coming out soon with the same type of story line, chances are, he or she won't be able to find a publisher.

Getting a rejection does not mean your writing sucks, or that the agent is out to get you, but it may mean that it is not be the best time for your manuscript. As a writer, I know how hard it is to play the waiting game, and to have someone not like your style, but we can not blame the agents for that.

There are so many things to consider in a rejection, and we should not be taking anything personally. Honestly, if an agent's opinion is so traumatizing, then being in the public eye may NOT be the best idea. :-) We will always have fans, and critics. Having a bit tougher skin seems like a better solution.

If your query is perfect, and your manuscript unique, there are other reasons as to why you may have received a rejection. For instance...

~ The agent may already be representing a novel in your genre, and yours would conflict with what that agent was trying to promote. I don't know about you, but personally, if I had an agent trying to promote my work, I would NEVER want that person also promoting something that is in competition with mine. What would be the point?

~ The agent may have a full plate, not being able to take anything else on at the moment.

~ Another thing to consider is writing style. An agent and their assistants KNOW what writing styles they like, and each of us have a unique one. I like to write in shorter, easy to read sentences, while my husband writes like Oscar Wilde. This does not mean one of us is better than the other, it only means that an agent who enjoys reading Wilde, would probably not enjoy my style even if both writings are in the same genre. Our queries generally show our style, unless we have it written by someone else (which seems a bit dangerous to me), and agents can tell from our query if we would be a good fit.

Most likely, if we receive a lot of rejections, the agents are not the ones where the blame should be placed. We, as writers, are responsible. Our task is to sell our novel to the agent, therefore it is up to us. So please, can we stop the agent bashing already? It is not professional, and only serves to show those agents that they made the right decision in the rejection.

To sum it up, we should be thanking all the agents and assistants that spend so much of their time weeding through the mess of queries they get every day, and for offering insight into how we can improve. They do not get paid to read queries, or write blogs, or edit our queries for us, yet so many still do this. So, from me, and the many others you have all helped, thank you! :-)

Strange Days...

My week has been so incredibly strange that I just have to write about it here...

Thursday - My van began making odd noises. Since I had no idea what was wrong with it, I chose not to drive anywhere until I could have it looked at. All while not stressing over the issue...

Friday - Had a birthday party to go to about an hour away. With my van acting up, we decided to take my husband's car to the party. But before we could go, he wanted to have his brakes tightened.

A few weeks ago, he got new brakes. For about a week now, those brakes have been hardly working and they're grinding. So he took the car in for a quick check, with our six yr. old in tow.

(one hour later) I am ready to go, waiting for them to show up, with my kids' pirate costumes all prepared (costume themed party) when I get a phone call...  Apparently, at some point, whether the shop that did his brakes did it, or someone else, a contaminate got into his brake lines and we were told we couldn't drive it until it got fixed at a hefty price of about $2800.00.  We were like, Holy Crap!!!

Since my husband had my six yr old, and it is way too far for him to walk home, I reluctantly decided to take the van to get them. BAD IDEA! Just as we were up the street from our place, we hear a snap, and my husband suddenly had no power steering! :-o  Thankfully, he was able to make it home. Had I been driving, I would have not been able to turn the wheel...

Needless to say, we didn't get to go to the party... Now, we had no vehicles, all within an hours time. Surprisingly, I still kept the stress under control. I just kept reminding myself not to worry, that things would work out.

Saturday - My son's birthday party roles around. Along with some pretty amazing things.

First, we all had a fabulous time, not letting the cars get to us.

Second, we got overwhelming support from family and friends. The brake company acknowledged they should have caught the problem, and offered to cover about half of parts and labor for us. We also had offers of help on my van, which apparently needs a new water pump, and multiple people loaning us their cars! It was so amazing to have such support. Even my neighbor brought up his keys to his BRAND NEW car, and asks if we need it before he takes it anywhere. Can you believe that? :-)

So now, we have the car under way, the van being fixed this weekend (wish us luck!) and the awareness that when we needed help, many people came forward to assist us. Thank you all so much for your love and support!

L.O.V.E.

Not Gonna Stress...

Why is it that vehicles always decide to act up when there is absolutely NO place to pull over?!? Seriously... 

Anyway, today my van began making some pretty interesting, and kind of scary noises, as I was making my way home from the store. Surprisingly though, I did not panic.

Normally in this situation I would freak a bit, worry about what was happening, if I would have enough money to fix it, as well as 'how am I going to get home?'  Today however, none of the following happened. In fact, I felt no stress at all. Just an mild irritation with the fact that the van is so old and needs a lot of work. This is such a huge leap from how I used to be! :-) I am so proud of myself for just taking things in, accepting that the van needed a serious attitude adjustment, and moving on.

Sure I checked all the fluids, stared blankly at the running engine to see if I could find the problem, then called my husband, but I never once stressed about it.  I have been working very hard to just 'accept' what life brings me and learn from it. Surprisingly, I found that belief helped me even today.

Maybe it is time for a new vehicle, or maybe the mechanic I take it too desperately needs the work.  We truly never know why things happen, or what purpose they are meant to serve (if any), but it really does feel good not to be worried about it.  I have definitely come a long way from where I used to be!

Learning To Be Loved

It dawned on me recently that many people, though not all, know how to love. They may not always practice it, or might not 'want' to love, but we all do.  We all have the ability.

Strangely, as I watched people around me, and also myself, I realized that though many know how to love, very few know how to receive it. I'm not speaking of personal 'I'm in love' types, but the unconditional love of everyone and our willingness to help and be helped. For instance...

I get so used to being cut off in traffic, or having someone cut in line at the store, or push their way by me in an isle without an 'excuse me', that I tend to get all discombobulated when someone actually lets me go first, or lets me out in traffic, or is kind in general. 

In a recent incident, a woman saw that i was trying to get my kids in the van and offered to take the cart back for me. Normally, if someone tried to be polite and help, I would say, 'Oh thank you, but I can get it...'. This time however, I let her do it. I have been working on allowing others to help me. For some reason, I have no problems helping others, I just have a hard time receiving it.

As I began to watch neighbors, family, and friends, I began to see a lot of that behavior in them too. Like one would have no problem loaning me some butter, but in the reverse, wouldn't want to take something from me. I thought maybe it was just people not wanting to impose on others, but I think there is more to it than that.

For some reason, whether we are taught through our doctrines, society, or just feel unloved in general, too many of us believe that we somehow do not deserve to be loved. It seems so simple, life is not just about learning to love, but learning to be loved in return. I think once we as a whole, learn to allow love in, humanity is going to take a huge leap into a higher state of being.

We all deserve to be loved. :-)

'Are' Disasters on the Rise?

I have been contemplating this for a while now, thinking of all the recent earth quakes, tsunamis, protests, flooding, drought, and die offs. Many people have told me they feel like the world is falling apart, and are now wondering if 2012 will really be the END.

After much study, however, I have come to the conclusion that I don't think things are actually getting worse in the world. I believe the exact opposite...

First of all, just to set people straight, the Mayan Calender that speaks of Dec. 21, 2012 isn't actually about death. It is about a rebirth, or new beginning. It is a shift from one way of living, into another. This is not a bad or fearful thing, as long as you are flexible to change. The new timeline will begin with the dawning of the humanitarian age. This is a time to celebrate. So no, I do not believe the world will end in 2012.

If you listen to the news carefully, all the places that have been hit recently have had similar things happen before. I live on a fault line, and every day am aware that we are do for a major earth quake... That does not mean that if it happens soon, it is because the world is ending.

So what has really changed?  Is it Earth? Or maybe, could it be us??

If you think about it, the only thing that is different now is that we have the world wide web, video cameras on our cell phones, and the ability to send information instantly...  It seems to me that what has changed is our awareness of these events. It is so easy to forget that Chile, for instance, got hit with a quake. Or that there are football fields of rain forest still being removed daily for cattle in our ever demanding fast food race. These things seem like they should impact us when we are told, but the fact of the matter is that rarely happens. Most of us need to see the devastation, see what is happening, in order to truly grasp and connect with the tragedy.

Maybe things are getting worse with the heating of our atmosphere and pollution, but history shows many of these events are natural.  Funny enough, our technology that so many people feel disconnects us from one another (in face to face situations), is now what is bringing us together. Our awareness; consciousness, is expanding, and these events of late are allowing us to have compassion for one another on a mass scale. These times we live in are sometimes tragic, but also so exciting and full of possibilities! :-)

Sending love tonight for all those who are in Japan, Egypt, Lybia, Haiti, Dar Fur, Australia, and to anyone who is suffering throughout the world.

WE ARE ALL ONE! :-) LOVE

Picking a Genre

After many months of researching, I have decided that there are many different ways to market the same piece of literature...  At first, my story was based on high school students and I had planned on marketing it as YA.  But the age bracket just wasn't right for the subject matter, so I re-wrote over half the novel to fit college students just about to graduate and embark on the journey of adulthood.  This changed the genre to NA (New Adult for those of you who don't know what that is yet).

Here is where things get sticky...

My story has multiple components. For instance, a large part of the storyline is about things paranormal, and other parts (though they are in current times) are sci fi, and yet, these things do not make up the entire manuscript.  What it is mainly about is a character's journey of self discovery.  She is deciding who she wants to be in life.  The only catch is that the paranormal and sci fi events help her in her choices.

Since the story is about the college student dealing with day to day life as well, falling in love, rejection, graduation, jobs, places to live, friendship, doesn't this also make it fit the mainstream fiction category?

HELP! :-)

Agents and books on writing classify my novel differently.  Just depending on what they see in it...  Does anyone have any ideas?

Mouth of Fire

Tonight my family went to a great little Sushi place by our house.  My husband and I had been there before, but never with our 4 and 6 year olds. We decided that tonight would be the night for them to try something a little different...

On the menu were California and TNT rolls, also some Miso soup, Gyoza, and some Chicken Teriyaki.  The kids chowed down and by the time they were done, there was only a couple California rolls left!  The best part, was when our 4 year old decided he wanted to put his finger in the pretty green flower of Wasabi, and then shove it in his mouth.  (We had warned him it was extremely hot, and not to try it unless he thought he could handle it.) 

My husband and I waited, our own eyes watering just watching the little guy, and to our utter surprise, he loved it!  The only thing he said was, "Few, that was hot..."  His finger reached into the Wasabi several times after that, all with a smile on his face.

Realizing that my 4 year old was out 'heating' me, I added a bit more Wasabi to my own dish.  Things were okay at first, just a bit hotter.  But of course, being the typical girl who loves to chit chat, I got distracted and managed to swipe my last bite through half the flower of Wasabi. For those of you who do not know what that feels like, I will give you this...

DON'T BREATHE!!!

All in all we had a great night, and we are so proud of our kiddos for passing on the corn dogs and french fries to try something new. ;-)

The Human Etch-A-Sketch

My husband and I were discussing the concept of the human Etch A Sketch recently, you know the type right?  When you ask them a question, they give you one answer until you dispute what they say and suddenly they are sputtering "well, uh, I meant..." 

This used to annoy me beyond belief.  I mean really, would I ask your opinion if I wanted to hear my own thoughts on the subject?  Of course not...  When I ask you what you think, or how you feel, I am truly seeking your honest opinion.  No need to spare my feelings, or make me happy by telling me what you think I want to hear. 

Rather than let this annoy me any further however, my husband has lightened the topic by referring to these people in our lives as The Human Etch A Sketch...  In his eyes, this is a great thing.  You can really have fun with people by asking them a question, and if you don't like the answer, just shaken up a bit and get the one you want! Imagine all the colorful things you could extract from someone! :-)

Okay, so I am not really that mean as to question these people merely to get as many "uh, no, I mean, I meant, well I see what you're saying..." out of them, but I will say that the next time someone does this to me, all I am going to see is a very large Etch A Sketch standing before me, shaking back and forth every time I raise an eyebrow! LOL

This is promising :-)

This is promising :-)

Ha ha ha...

I didn't let myself get discouraged with the writing contest, and wouldn't you know it, I got it down to the right length! Dang I'm good... Now all I gotta do is wait until October, oh so far away!!!

Holy Crap! Are you kidding me??

Okay, out goes my excitement over being done with my short story for the writing contest! I went to submit it only to find it is 1000 words too long!  Ugh...  I have the printout from my original inquiry on the contest, and it clearly states for my genre it is 5000 words, now it has been chopped down to 4000 and mine is too long!

(Heavy sighs here...)

Oh well, I still have one day to chop it down.  I know I can do it, so wish me luck everyone!